For You

Because I know you will never read this…

Oh my dear, what have you done? What has happened to make you not speak to me for, going on five days now? How do you simply disregard my presence like it was never there in the first place? I know I did not do anything to deserve this and it is entirely your doing, but why this way? Why run from the situation at hand and instead figure out how to remedy it? How have you so easily given up on everything we have become? You have given up on me, just like so many others and I think that is what hurts the most. I never in the deepest depths of my heart believed you, of all people, would just give up and run away from me. Was my friendship not enough? Not worth giving up and fighting for?

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I do not know what has happened and I will not draw any conclusions because it does me no good. All I want to know is the truth. What happened? I want to hear the truth no matter what it is. Yes, I might get mad, upset, cry or feel any emotion at any point, but I want to know. I do not believe you have done anything to hurt me deliberately and believe only the best in you, which is why you need to tell me what is going on.

I am your friend. I am what I would have considered a best friend. I know I have put you in that category. I have spent the past five days avoiding my phone in attempts to not contact you because I can only assume you need some time to figure this situation out. There have been so many things I have wanted to tell you, to share your with, to be excited with you about, yet I cannot. That hurts me pretty badly. Flat out I miss you. I miss our conversations, whether they be serious, happy, sad, excited or even pointless. I miss our banter. I miss our motivation for each other in all the things we have supported each other with over the (almost) past year. I miss you. In every way shape and form.

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So just talk to me. Tell me what has happened and if we are as strong and as great of friends as I believe we are, we will get past this. We will learn from it, build from it, and become better people because of it.

Should you choose to never speak to me again, well as you would say to me all the time, “It is what it is.” I cannot convince you one way or the other to do anything so it will be something I will just have to live with. It is certainly not what I am wishing for, but if it is what you choose, then I will respect it. And I will miss you. God I will miss you. Like one of my favorite songs says I’ll miss you… Like California rain.

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