“I Got Through The Hard Part”

I think. I think I have gotten through the hardest part.  I seriously thought that the emotional roller coaster I was enduring was never going to end. But I believe it is finally getting there.

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I have really dove into the photography stuff. I’ve entered into a few contests hoping that it can get me somewhere, and teach me that I’m not as bad at this as I think.  I also upgraded by current equipment to help me better my skills and learn more about the whole aspect of it. It is a timely process and I’m still learning every time I go out there, but it is working slowly.  I don’t know, what do you think?

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Tehachapi Sunset, April

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Classic Car Show, City of Orange, April

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Sunset at Inspiration Point, Corona Del Mar, March

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Whiting’s Ranch in Irvine, April

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‘ Whiting’s Ranch in Irvine, April

Besides the photography stuff there hasn’t been much going on. I landed myself a second job doing consulting field work again which has been nice, but not ideally what I would like to be doing.  I have been lazy about applying for the jobs I really want because I’m so tired of not hearing back. But I’ll never hear if I don’t apply in the first place, right? Yeah.  So I’m trying to get myself to get my danged resume and cover letter out there so I can land myself the job that I really truly want to do and work in.  But for now it’ll suffice and I’m ok with it. I’ll be traveling a ton for this field position so I’ll be out and about and flat out busy working my tail off really.

Storms over Windmills in Mojave, April

Storms over Windmills in Mojave, April

I’m also as single as they come.

I finally straightening everything out with certain men still in my life that I was either still pining over or flat out confused.  It feels like a huge weight lifted off my shoulder because for a while I was in serious turmoil with myself over what to do and how to feel. But to have to live under my own microscope is something that is my own fault and I’m the only one that can change that.  I have finally figured out what I want in a man, and in a relationship.  It has taken a serious number of mistakes and more than enough tears shed, but it had to happen at some point right?  I had to realize what I needed, wanted and deserved and I had to learn the hard way.  I hate that it was hard, but like my title says, “I got through the hard part.”

Reflection, April

Reflection, April

Now is where I get to have some fun discovering more of who I am and who I want to be with.  Not going to lie, there are still people from the past and present that I’m still thinking about but in reality, if they don’t seek me out it means they really don’t want to be spending the kind of time with me that I want to spend with them. So…their loss?  Only time will tell.

That’s all for now. More 30 under 30 goals to be accomplished soon!

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2 thoughts on ““I Got Through The Hard Part”

  1. Lovely photos! They make me long for real nature. Nature is hard to come by in the UK!

    I am in the same tiring process of looking for and applying for jobs. It’s exhausting. What is it that you’d really like to do? I’m amazed by how many field jobs are just temporary and part time…even though I get the practical reasons why you’d have field work only during certain times of the year, it seems a waste to not employ those same field biologists, ecologists, etc. for other things throughout the year.

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    • I have been thinking about it, and for so many years I thought I knew what I really wanted to do…but now, maybe not so? I’ve always wanted to do conservation work for a non-profit of some sort and use GIS to work on it, but now I’m not sure. It’s hard to get to that place with any position and with what’s available for the time frames of field work, it seems never ending. But I hear you on the temporary with field work. I’ve been doing them for so long the short term jobs seemed normal to me, but then I think about it and there are some people who have had the same job for almost 20 years! Crazy…

      Like

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